Do you talk to yourself when no one is there to hear you? I do! My wife, Susan, does too. It’s not the onset of dementia, neither is it a sign that you are gradually losing it! In fact, how you talk to yourself is very important to your state of mind and to how you see yourself.
Psychological research has shown that our subconscious mind interprets what it hears literally. Thus, our mind and body tend to follow the direction that our words lead them. The words you use have the power to fuel your confidence and ambition, or alternatively to make you feel anxious and inadequate. The spoken word has great power and influence.
Not everyone is called to be a politician, preacher or public speaker. However, if you disqualify yourself by saying audibly to yourself, “I could never do that”, it can keep you from even trying to improve your presentational skills. There is a saying which goes something like this: “The words you speak become the house in which you live”. If you use positive language about your ability to achieve goals, meet challenges or get a job done, that is what will become presentin your behaviour. If you constantly make declarations about yourself and your circumstances that highlight hopelessness, fear, pessimism or anxiety, those words will shape your reality.
Your language also affects the way others perceive you and relate to you. If you talk yourself down, make excuses or qualify your opinion before you have even given it, you weaken your authority and credibility. People who are secure and confident use language that is positive and action-focused. This enables them to create trust in their relationships.
In an article I read recently I learned that Neuroscience has shown that all of us can “rewire our brains”. However, this requires persistent practice, replacing habitually negative thought patterns, speech and behaviour with more positive habits. A practical way to achieve this is to monitor your language over a 24 hour period. Then ask someone else to monitor you over the same period of time (because our habits are often invisible to us). You can then work on replacing language that is disqualifying, passive and defeatist with positive, optimistic and confident language. This will give you greater control of your life as well as boost your energy level. As a result, you become someone whom others are more inclined to listen to.
There are guidelines to help you keep on track with this process. You can express yourself in terms of what you can do, rather than what you can’t do. Avoiding sweeping statements is also helpful. Rather than, “These people are idiots”, try, “These people see things differently from me. I wonder what they are seeing that I am missing?” Instead of apologising for having an opinion, simply express that opinion respectfully. It’s not helpful to put negative labels on yourself, like, “lazy”, “disorganised”, “poor at communicating”. Instead, express your intention to change those things from now on.
It’s very important to see problems as challenges and opportunities, rather than hindrances to your progress. For example, instead of saying, “This situation is a nightmare”, say, ”This situation presents an interesting challenge”. The latter response opens the possibility of solving the problem, or trying a different approach as a solution.
[I am indebted to “Your words are powerful: 8-positive speaking habits to build yourself up”, by Margie Warrell, 18 May 2018, Success Magazine,]
|Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, then you aren't.||Margaret Thatcher|
|The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but God will make us good because he loves us.||C S Lewis|
|Fear is misplaced faith.||Kris Vallotton|
|God has already seen every mistake, every failure and every weakness, and the good news is he's already forgiven you. He is not holding it against you.||Joel Osteen|
|God is not nearly so interested in changing your circumstances as he is in changing you.||Joyce Meyer|
|Pray, and let God worry||Martin Luther|
|Those who never change their mind never change anything.||Winston Churchill|
|What you do (for a living) is not who you are.||Celia Apeagyei-Collins|
|People who write you off when you fail know nothing about history and even less about life. No person ever fully succeeds until they fully fail.||Lance Wallnau|
|There is no uncreated being except God. God has no opposite. Satan, the leader or dictator of devils, is the opposite, not of God, but of Michael.||C S Lewis|
|He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.||Jim Elliot|
|You never know how much you really believe anything until it's truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life or death to you.||C S Lewis|
|If you know you are loved, faith is easy. It's easy to trust someone you know loves you.||David Forster|
|Every moment that you spend upset, despaired, anguished, angry, afraid or hurt, because of the behaviour of someone else in your life, is a moment in which you have given up control of your life.||Unknown|
|Remember, you do not have to live today by how you feel, nor by what you think about yourself, nor by what someone else thinks about you. The person who created you thinks you are wonderful, and he waits with open arms for you to agree with him.||David Forster|
|Shift gears from doing something in God's presence to simply being in God's presence.||Lance Wallnau|
|Your future doesn't depend on what is in front of you, it depends on who is in you.||Lance Wallnau|
|Did you know that you are utterly and completely loved by God, without doing a single thing, good or bad.||David Forster|
|no one knows how bad they are until they have tried very hard to be good..||C S Lewis|
|If we are living daily by faith, we will be constantly over our head; Beyond our ability to do this our that. We should all be in that place in some area of our life. If we are not, we will be like an old wineskin; too rigid and inflexible to receive the Lord's new wine.||Rick Joyner|
|For a believer intimacy with God is not an option, it's a necessity. Guidance and direction depend on this intimacy and sensitivity to Holy Spirit. There is no substitute for the latter.||Graham Cooke|
|Jesus reveals the Father to us. He gives us peace and rest. He is not a hard taskmaster.||David Forster|
|The God who creates everything, pursues you. Don't let anyone tell you you're are worth less than that.||Louie Giglio|
|In the kingdom, physical obedience brings spiritual release.||Bill Johnson|
|Don't be surprised if you pray for nearness to God and he sends a trial. Nearness always requires dependence.||Desiringgod.org|
|Our corporate worship doesn't meet a need in God, it meets a need in us.||Sam Storms|
|How you feel is not who you are. Feelings are great servants and terrible masters.||Kris Vallotton|
|There is a lot that is good in your life. Don't take it for granted. Don't get so focused on the struggle that you mis the gift of today.||Joel Osteen|
|The enemy commits identity theft when you believe you must earn what God freely gives.||Alison Brown|
|If you agree with your creator and receive what he freely gives, you will have serenity in your identity and confidence in your countenance.||David Forster|
|If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.||David Forster|
|A satisfying and exciting life organises around an identity focused on Jesus, not the church..||Graham Cooke|
|Satan cannot impose his will on anyone, he has to have our agreement.||Graham Cooke|
|Every day adjust yourself to where God is taking you, that is, toward the prophetic vision he has given you.||Lance Wallnau|
|Real faith is not faith in an outcome (of a particular situation or circumstance), it's faith in a person.||David Forster|
|Be in no doubt that God will redeem the losses and mistakes of your past life.||David Forster|
|God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from himself, because there is simply no such thing.||C S Lewis|
|Wealth, women and status; these are the major temptations that can draw a man away from God. Each is morally neutral; yet given the appropriate significance, each can control us.||David Forster|
|The devil's finest trick is to persuade you that he doesn't exist.||Anon|
|Fear is the enemy of love. The two cannot exist together. We have to choose daily: Fear or Love.||David Forster|
|You are not saved because of the quality of your faith. You are saved because of the object of your faith; The Redeemer!||Tim Keller|
|Revival goes from the bottom up; Reformation goes from the top down. Therefore reformation is institutional and revival is personal.||Lance Wallnau|
|Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.||Albert Einstein|
|Inner peace is key to experiencing God's presence. Rest is a weapon against the enemy||Graham Cooke|
|Fairy tales don't tell children that dragons exist. Children know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.||G K Chesterton|
|When you are at peace with God, you will be at peace with yourself and with other people.||David Forster|
|You can believe in Christianity in the same way you believe that the sun has risen; Firstly, because you see it and secondly because by it you see everything else.||C S Lewis|
|A little while ago I became old enough to start believing in fairy tales again. This means there are far better things ahead of me then what I have left behind.||C S Lewis|
|Your unfinished destiny is your most potent argument with death.||Graham Cooke|
|I am not focused on what I am not, I am focused on what he is for me.||David Forster|