Changing Your Way of Thinking

My last blog was about how people can believe a lie without realising it. However, identifying our proneness to this kind of behaviour is not always easy. Our perception and experience of reality is not necessarily true or actual reality.

Our thoughts are the root of our behaviour patterns. So if we want to change our behaviour (eg. avoid believing lies), the place to begin is our mind.

Here are a few guidelines to what I believe are healthy ways of thinking:

1. Believe in other people and be prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, you are unlikely to know their motives.
2. Be quick to forgive others; don’t hold grudges or be easily offended.
3. Be confident and thankful. The difference between arrogance (pride) and confidence is gratitude.
4. Like yourself, but be aware of your own weaknesses.
5. Be at peace in yourself and don’t worry. Speculations are the negative “what ifs” of life: Make your speculations positive.
6. When things go wrong, hold onto hope for the future.

I’m sure most of you will aspire to think in the ways I have listed here. I certainly do, though I am often unsuccessful (for the truth, ask my wife!).

We can all engage in behaviour modification, and we may well see some improvement. Earlier in our marriage, Susan and I made an agreement: Whenever I behaved like my father, she would tell me; whenever she behaved like her mother, I would tell her. We both would accept what the other said. The time periods between not speaking to each other as a result of the implementation of this agreement gradually reduced over the months and years, and it was quite successful. That is, we stayed together and our behaviour was modified.

However, there is one major problem associated with changing our way of thinking. If we want to transform our behaviour, rather than simply modify it, our mind (way of thinking) needs to be renewed. This requires external help, and it cannot be based on feelings: feelings are good servants, but terrible masters.

The fact is you and I cannot change our lives. But if we change our mind and align it with the truth, God will change our life.

This means that we have to add a 7^th way of thinking to the previous list: When God says he is going to do something that has not been done before, we need to believe it can and will happen.

When we do that, the transformation of our way of thinking will start to become a reality, and we will be on track to become the person God created us to be.

Post Script: Use the 7-points listed to assess your current way of thinking. Don’t be discouraged by the results. Remember, you are a work in progress.