How Are We Supposed to Know
Which One is the “Right One”?

 

In my mid-twenties, I got to a point where dating and having a girlfriend was more important than simply having a “love interest”, or someone to share my leisure time with. I began to ask myself the question, “Is this the one for me?” How are we supposed to know that this or that is “the one”?

I had been praying that God would give me a woman who loved me and who I would love – that was my most altruistic way of putting it. I also prayed a less spiritual prayer which went something like this: Please give me a girl who wants to have sex with me as much as I want to have sex with her. I was also seeing other factors that were important too. Like, do we both have the same Christian beliefs and do these beliefs have similar practical implications? Are we serious about them?

Yet, before my future wife became my next girlfriend, I had a serious soul-searching time with God about my current girlfriend. I knew she was not “the one”. How did I know?She ticked many of my boxes, but she somehow just didn’t fit. He got me thinking about Abraham, who was called to leave his family home and go to another country – which God would show him. I understood that, in my case, this meant I would have to leave my current girlfriend and trust God to come up with the one that he had chosen for me. I agreed to do what he said. It was just 3-weeks after that I began dating the girl I soon realised was “the one” he had in mind. I later learned from her that God had told her, on her first sight of me, that I was the man she was going to marry. These things indicated to me that God had a plan to answer my prayers, probably before I even asked him for help.

It was very soon after I started dating my wife that I knew – it was that instinctive knowing – that she was the girl I wanted to marry. But there were other reasons why, very early in our relationship, I felt she was the right one for me. She had been brought up in a Christian family and had become a believer at the age of six. She was baptised at 13. She was 17 when she joined a youth group I was leading. We started dating 6 months later. She told me after that she would not have dated, and certainly not married, anyone who was not a Christian. So the attraction wasn’t just about how we looked. We had the same core beliefs.She had certain criteria which I had to meet before she would consider even dating me. She told me much later that she had always loved me.

We enjoyed doing fairly mundane things together – just being together. We didn’t need “a date” to see each other. She used to come to my house so we could revise for our exams – together. Did we have a vision for the future?Not really. Had we both tackled our personal insecurities, fears and failures?No, we were hardly aware of some of them. We have faced many of these in subsequent years. We have had some wonderful times and gone through some hard times too, but we have never thought of separation or divorce. It’s a bit like the late Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth. When asked if she had ever considered divorce, she replied, “Murder, yes; divorce, no”.

Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, then you aren't. Margaret Thatcher
The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but God will make us good because he loves us. C S Lewis
Fear is misplaced faith. Kris Vallotton
God has already seen every mistake, every failure and every weakness, and the good news is he's already forgiven you. He is not holding it against you. Joel Osteen
God is not nearly so interested in changing your circumstances as he is in changing you. Joyce Meyer
Pray, and let God worry Martin Luther
Those who never change their mind never change anything. Winston Churchill
What you do (for a living) is not who you are.  Celia Apeagyei-Collins 
 People who write you off when you fail know nothing about history and even less about life. No person ever fully succeeds until they fully fail. Lance Wallnau 
There is no uncreated being except God. God has no opposite. Satan, the leader or dictator of devils, is the opposite, not of God, but of Michael.  C S Lewis
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. Jim Elliot
You never know how much you really believe anything until it's truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life or death to you. C S Lewis
If you know you are loved, faith is easy. It's easy to trust someone you know loves you. David Forster
Every moment that you spend upset, despaired, anguished, angry, afraid or hurt, because of the behaviour of someone else in your life, is a moment in which you have given up control of your life. Unknown
Remember, you do not have to live today by how you feel, nor by what you think about yourself, nor by what someone else thinks about you. The person who created you thinks you are wonderful, and he waits with open arms for you to agree with him. David Forster
Shift gears from doing something in God's presence to simply being in God's presence. Lance Wallnau
Your future doesn't depend on what is in front of you, it depends on who is in you. Lance Wallnau
Did you know that you are utterly and completely loved by God, without doing a single thing, good or bad. David Forster
no one knows how bad they are until they have tried very hard to be good.. C S Lewis
If we are living daily by faith, we will be constantly over our head; Beyond our ability to do this our that. We should all be in that place in some area of our life. If we are not, we will be like an old wineskin; too rigid and inflexible to receive the Lord's new wine. Rick Joyner
For a believer intimacy with God is not an option, it's a necessity. Guidance and direction depend on this intimacy and sensitivity to Holy Spirit. There is no substitute for the latter. Graham Cooke
Jesus reveals the Father to us. He gives us peace and rest. He is not a hard taskmaster. David Forster
The God who creates everything, pursues you. Don't let anyone tell you you're are worth less than that. Louie Giglio
In the kingdom, physical obedience brings spiritual release. Bill Johnson
Don't be surprised if you pray for nearness to God and he sends a trial. Nearness always requires dependence. Desiringgod.org
Our corporate worship doesn't meet a need in God, it meets a need in us. Sam Storms
How you feel is not who you are. Feelings are great servants and terrible masters. Kris Vallotton
There is a lot that is good in your life. Don't take it for granted. Don't get so focused on the struggle that you mis the gift of today. Joel Osteen
The enemy commits identity theft when you believe you must earn what God freely gives. Alison Brown
If you agree with your creator and receive what he freely gives, you will have serenity in your identity and confidence in your countenance. David Forster
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got. David Forster
A satisfying and exciting life organises around an identity focused on Jesus, not the church..  Graham Cooke
Satan cannot impose his will on anyone, he has to have our agreement.  Graham Cooke
Every day adjust yourself to where God is taking you, that is, toward the prophetic vision he has given you. Lance Wallnau
Real faith is not faith in an outcome (of a particular situation or circumstance), it's faith in a person. David Forster
Be in no doubt that God will redeem the losses and mistakes of your past life. David Forster
God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from himself, because there is simply no such thing. C S Lewis
Wealth, women and status; these are the major temptations that can draw a man away from God. Each is morally neutral; yet given the appropriate significance, each can control us. David Forster
The devil's finest trick is to persuade you that he doesn't exist. Anon
Fear is the enemy of love. The two cannot exist together. We have to choose daily: Fear or Love. David Forster
You are not saved because of the quality of your faith. You are saved because of the object of your faith; The Redeemer! Tim Keller
Revival goes from the bottom up; Reformation goes from the top down. Therefore reformation is institutional and revival is personal. Lance Wallnau
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts. Albert Einstein
Inner peace is key to experiencing God's presence. Rest is a weapon against the enemy Graham Cooke
Fairy tales don't tell children that dragons exist. Children know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed. G K Chesterton
When you are at peace with God, you will be at peace with yourself and with other people. David Forster
You can believe in Christianity in the same way you believe that the sun has risen; Firstly, because you see it and secondly because by it you see everything else. C S Lewis
A little while ago I became old enough to start believing in fairy tales again. This means there are far better things ahead of me then what I have left behind. C S Lewis
Your unfinished destiny is your most potent argument with death. Graham Cooke
I am not focused on what I am not, I am focused on what he is for me. David Forster
Reaching the Heights