Life Really Can Be a Joy and a Pleasure

There are certain things in life that are needed to make it satisfying, worthwhile and joyful. In my original script I said “purposeful” rather than “joyful”. I changed it to joyful because I am aware that for much of my life I have been too intense. A number of years ago a work colleague described me as “a very serious-minded young man”. I was about 36 at the time. For a long time I saw that as a compliment. That was before I realised that I was inclined to take myself too seriously, and as a result I lacked joy. I was okay with purpose, but not joy. I am pleased to say that joy gets my vote now and has had for a number of years. Here are some other things I have learned about myself since being that “young man”:

Life can become an exhausting round of achievements, most of which cost much more than they are worth. I stopped comparing myself with others, in a competitive sense, a long time ago. I focus now on what is before me, and I am very happy to celebrate the achievements of others and their talents – many of which benefit me!

We live on a planet of great abundance, where there is enough for everyone. So those of us who have plenty should be those who give from that plenty. I am not referring to billionaire philanthropists such as Bill Gates, alone. You don’t have to have that kind of money to have a giving heart.

To love other people enough to want to give to them means that our cup needs to be full to overflowing. It’s not simply a financial fullness I’m talking about, it is also an emotional, spiritual and personal fulness. I don’t believe we can love or even value other people until we first know how to love and value ourselves.

This automatically means that any tendency to perfectionism is never going to fit. We are allowed mistakes in the journey of life. We do need to learn from them though, otherwise we may keep repeating them. They can be blessings in disguise. John Maxwell, the leadership guru, says, “Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. We never lose”. With that kind of approach and attitude of humility, we will be good enough – even to God.

My past does not have to determine my future. My former limitations do not define who I am now, nor do they determine my destiny. When I stopped blaming my past on others, I set myself free. Another very important thing I have learned: No one can hurt or upset me without my consent: I have to allow it!

I have never been much of a worrier, but there is a lot of it in my family background; especially worrying what others may think. It is impossible to please everyone, so as a Christian I try to please God. I find that other priorities line up very well with that.

What about the expectation others may have of me? Like most people I have my own objectives and responsibilities in life. As a result I cannot say, “Yes”, to all of the requests or demands I receive even though they may be worthwhile. I only have so much time and resources. Therefore, saying, “No”, is something I have had to learn to do (as graciously as possible) when necessary.

I believe in the inherent self-worth of each person. It follows that each of us deserves the opportunity to be true to ourself, without needing to apologise to anyone. Self-esteem is vital to our well-being, so long as we do not allow that to become an excuse for self-interest.