Reaching the Heights - Being an Attractive Person

Being an Attractive Person

Being an attractive person is not the exclusive domain of those who are talented, charming, charismatic personalities. They are, in fact, people who you like being with, who you are likely to ask for help, and who you would probably trust. So what makes such people attractive?

Firstly, they are invariably confident and they are not constantly seeking validation. You can be that kind of attractive person, if you want to be? They treat everyone with respect, regardless of their status in life. And they do this because they do not believe they are better than the next person.

Attractive people have an authentic interest in others. Because they habitually focus on those around them, they don’t think too much about themselves. They listen carefully to what other people are saying, not thinking what their response will be or how it will affect them. They are not distracted by their mobile and when someone says something about themselves, they ask an open-ended question – to draw them out a little further.

Attractive people have the capacity to make those around them feel comfortable. They don’t simply treat others as they themselves would like to be treated, they do their best to treat them as they (the other person) would like to be treated. But they don’t simply keep it safe by engaging in small talk, they try to create personal connection by asking questions about their day or their view on some currently popular topic. This can easily lead to things that are important to the speaker; result – emotional connection.

Of course, you can’t do this if you dominate the conversation with your own interests and affairs. This thought is furthest from your mind, because you see how unattractive people are who try too hard to get others to like them.

Attractive people are real. You don’t have to try to guess what their agenda is: They know nobody likes someone who’s a fake. People who are honest walk the talk. They don’t talk critically or disapprovingly about others. They do what they say they will do. They do the right thing, even if it hurts. This means you can trust them.

Attractive people invariably have a love for life. They tend to be positive and passionate. They don’t get bored, because life for them is a joyful adventure, in which others want to participate. They are people of hope, so that when they have problems or it’s a bad day, they always look forward to better days and see problems as temporary.

This means that they have a ready smile and they often mirror the body language of the person they are talking to. A genuine smile can make others feel good. Vanity aside, attractive people try to look their best. They know, like my wife, that cleaning your house before company comes is a sign of respect for your visitors. But, having made themselves presentable, they don’t pursue the performance.

Perhaps you have registered whilst reading that there are habits which can be learned and appealing qualities that can be practiced which will make you just that: An appealing person. The question is, will it be important enough for you to want to make it happen in your life? With a little effort and practice you can.

The more you focus on others, the more attractive you become to them.

(Acknowledgement: I am indebted to Travis Bradbury for an article entitled “11 Secrets of Irresistible People”, Success Magazine, 11 Feb.2016)

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Reaching the Heights